fighting spirit
Seriously? You think if you hit the dojo you can spirit away all your mistakes, all your wrongdoings? Think again. My face, my memory will follow you to your grave, like an unrelenting ghost. You will practice your kata, and you will see my face. You will grip your katana, and you will see my face. You will lunge at your opponent, and you will see my face. You will tie your hakama, and you will see my face. You will kneel before your sensei, and you will see my face. You will lie down at night and you will feel my body bend under yours. You will wake up in the morning and you will see my face in the mirror, not yours. My face is swollen from tears. My eyes are oceans of confusion. I will haunt you like you haunt me. I will hunt you like you hunted me. I will strike you with my katana again and again until you surrender. You will surrender because I am stronger. You will surrender because I did nothing to deserve the burden of you. You will surrender because you know you were wrong. You will surrender because you are sorry. You are so, so sorry. You will surrender because I trusted you. You will surrender because I was just a girl and you should have known better. You will surrender because you are not a man. You will surrender because you cannot stand the truth. You will surrender because you cannot stand seeing your face in mine.
*circa 2004 (i’d have to look through my sketchbooks to find the exact date)
